WHEN IS IT REALLY OVER? WHY DOES YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIPS HUNT THE NEW ONES?

     Ummm, that's a good question. Well let me take you down memory lane. Before my king came along, I was involved in a three year and two month long relationship with someone that I truly thought was going to be my husband. I was going to be Mrs. C......I really felt like he was the one. I was involved with him from Nov.1,1999-Jan. 2003. He was my first love and first sex partner, my H.S. sweetheart. I did whatever I could physically, emotionally and mentally to please him but my efforts were all in vain. I mean, I got dumped not even knowing, he would tell me things about how he still had feelings for the next person, just do me completely wrong until one day I had an epiphany and realized I deserved better. The relationship wasn't all bad but at the end of the day, the CONS outweighed the PROS and I just had enough.


    Now I know your probably like what's with the intro???? Well someone asked me, " Why didn't that relationship make me bitter towards the next?"  My response was, that relationship opened my eyes to what I didn't want to go through again but what I didn't do was take my baggage from that relationship into the new one. As women, we love with our heart on our sleeve and we go harder than a man will, so when he isn't what we thought he was, we put a wall up for the next and that is truly unfair. Men get hurt as well but you would rarely see a reaction because they know how to hide it. Ladies, we take our bitterness into our new relationship so instead of seeing the best in him, we are trying to find things to compare him with from the old relationship. Sometimes we can't recognize a good thing because we are too busy finding the flaws. Choosing a mate is a tough thing to do especially nowadays when people are so superficial that a man will pick a mate based on body frame and some women will pick a mate based on wallet size and when you mix these two scenarios together, you will never find your King or Queen. The excess baggage should not go into the new relationship with you so before you ask God for a good man make sure you put the walls down and allow yourself to get to know the man in front of you instead of comparing him to your ex. Your past is the past for a reason. God took that person out of your life for a reason so you should never dwell on the shoulda, coulda, or woulda's in a relationship. What is done is done! Allow that train to leave the station and board another one.


LOVE is a beautiful feeling and sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs to get to your KING. Every man has their flaws but when you compare him to the next, his flaws will be the only thing you see. (think about it)....


Just to help you out...take a listen to Usher with "His Mistakes":

SMOOCHES