RELATIONSHIPS: THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY! WHEN IS ENOUGH ACTUALLY ENOUGH!

I am not a relationship counselor nor do I pretend to be...I know who I am and I speak my feelings on love...My relationship track history is not extensive and I have only been in one other serious relationship aside from the one I am in now. But what I do know is how I would like to be treated as a human being involved with another.
When you begin to date someone, you are in the beginners stage and everything he or she does to you may be perfect so you don't always notice the signs of a jerk in the making. He or she doesn't have to physically abuse you for them to be an ass..The way they speak to you directly or indirectly sets the tone...and what you allow defines the way he or she  will treat you. What bothers me the most is relationships based on looks and money. Yes, you get involved with someone wanting to find out what can they bring to the table. But you don't look for love in his or her pockets...I know relationships that are based on MONEY...How much do you have and what can you buy me??? Like seriously, this is not a competition...How about loving someone for their deep conversations, how they stimulate your mind, how they make you laugh...not by how many bottles they can buy at the club or what designer are they wearing!!! People get so caught up in the superficial things that they forget why they are involved with that person in the first place. Their so called love relationship becomes a business transaction with no feelings behind it.

I pity the girls that deal with the guy just because he is the talk of the town...or because he can say a good apology speech when he's messed up so many times over and over again...I pity the girl that keeps a man around just because he can provide for her financially...What ever happened to you loving him regardless of what he can do for you..why can't you pick up the tab for once? or you getting your hair and nails done on your own?? My grandma said "If you don't need someone, don't use them."  I know of some grown girls ( notice I didn't write women) that keep an ex around because he can provide for her financially and won't give another man a chance or is stringly that other person along....NEVER go for seconds if your first plate still has food on it..

Ladies, allow yourselves to be alone..get yourselves together and know what you want out of life because then you will see what type of men you seek. These grown boys now-a-days will say and do anything to stay in your life with their body of lies and deceit. I don't believe in the saying, " Once a cheater always a cheater" but I do believe that if you constantly give someone chances to come back into your life that will give them more and more opportunities to break your heart. You don't have to stay in a relationship to save face and a ring is not a symbol that he's changed.  A ring is a symbol of forever love, effortless love, compromise, respect and sacrifice. Him cheating and then turning around giving you his apology speech, flowers and a ring doesn't make it all better. Fix the issue and if you guys are better apart then so be it...pain does subside.

Fellas, just because she is fine doesn't make it okay for you to allow her to treat you like trash. If she only calls you when a bill is due or if she wants the new louboutins that came out...leave her behind at the cash register. You don't need someone like that..even if she has cheated and you have accepted her back, if you haven't forgiven her...the trust is gone. Without trust, a relationship doesn't work. You don't have to forget but you do need to forgive not for her but for you.

I have had my heart broken before and it doesn't feel good at all and I allowed that person to stay in my life until I finally realized that he wasn't what I needed..I knew I deserved better and I waited for what God had planned for me...I am not saying that my fiance is a saint but he is someone who has morals and values...He doesn't have that mind set of breaking hearts...He loves deep and I love him more than words can describe. With that being said...evaluate your life and know what you want...If you need to be alone for awhile then do so...No one deserves to be treated like a doormat..everyone deserves happiness and you CAN be happy alone.


SMOOCHES...

DOES DRESSING PROVOCATIVELY MEAN YOU LACK SELF CONFIDENCE?"

Now-a-days dressing and the term "swag" has changed from pants hanging off your ass to tight ass pants and some vans. But what has never really changed only evolved is women dressing scantly clad ( barely nothing on). I personally was raised in a home where showing to much meant you were looking for something. To me, women who dress half naked lack self confidence somewhere. I say this because how could you really go out dressed like that if you weren't seeking attention. What kills me even more is when a woman dresses provocatively to a club and gets upset when approached disrespectfully by the opposite or same sex. NO female deserves to be touched without her permission but what did you really expect dressed that way. That person is not looking at you saying, " Damn, that can be my girlfriend!"....He's saying, "Damn, I wonder if she will let me hit?"...Sorry but it is true. Just like the saying goes " guilty by association", your guilty by what you wear. The way you dress says alot who you are, whether you want to believe it or not. What baffles me the most is that I know strippers that get naked for a living but if you saw them in the street, you wouldn't even know because they are clothed. The bad part about it is that some of you have daughters and in this present day, not only should you be scared for yourself but also for your child. Tying their shirts up showing their navel is not an example you want to teach them. Allow them to be kids...A woman gets more respect when she is covered then when she has ass cheeks, whole ass or all breasts out...Don't get me wrong...there is nothing wrong with some clevage showing but too much is not a good look. It's not cute nor classy...If it is your job to be photographed semi nude, then fine but once the job is done, put on some clothes. I'm not saying button up like a nun but if your going to a kids party, grocery store, school event, or church...put on some clothes. If you ever notice, alot of these big time rappers have half naked women in their videos but look at the wifey ( i.e. Ludacris and Euxodie, TIP and Tiny, Fabolous and Emilie, Jay-z and Beyonce, Jim Jones and his girlfriend (don't remember her name)...total opposite. If your not a pole 24/7, put on some clothes...Black people as a race has enough scrutiny, don't make it worse...


P.S. This is all my opinion...I'm not asking you to agree!


SMMOCHES